Follow the Cinderblock road!

"Everyone knows that Dorothy liked the Scarecrow best." - Matthew Reilly, Ice Station.

I have exams, and they are a pain. When u aren't sitting them, u r studying for them, and still the teachers hound u for work, and examples and talks and open discussions on ur progress etc etc...
It is the most bloody painful process I have ever witnessed or been a part of. But enough about me... Actually, what am I saying? This is meant to be about me! Well, it doesn't have to be, but I said it would be and I'll be damned if I'm gonna call myself a liar more than once in this week!

The art of burning other peoples shit, is to make sure you can get away with it. It is all well and good to grab it, set fire to it and enjoy the resulting display, but it pays to be precautious, so as not to have it come back and bite you when you least expect it!

1. Finding the shit to burn.
This is important, as the rest of the steps cannot follow if you don't actually have anything to burn. To find something to burn, you need to find someone who's shit can be burnt. Scout out your local area, find a person on holiday, or someone you don't like. Do a bit of amature stalking to see what they do, what they own, what they like, and when they are away from the shit. It should be something precious to them, or at least something easy to burn.

2. Getting the shit for u to burn.
Now you have to collect it. If it is usually kept in a locked study or house, then here's a little trick to help you... Get some tape or some other such thing, go to the study when it is unlocked, with them there and ask for a pair of scissors or something. While they do this, get the tape and put it over the hole the lock slots into (make sure u wear inconspicuous gloves, so as not to leave prints). Now when they lock it, the door will lock, but not shut, because the tape will keep the latch-thingy from closing... If it is their house, pretend to be doing a survey on something that they will have to check by going inside, like when their latest bill came in. If you've stalked well enough, you should know what company they pay their bills to for electricity etc and can use one of them.
Now you need to wait until they go away, and steal into their house, making sure u wear non-grip shoes (so that they don't carry stuff in from the garden in the tread) and not too much clothing (tight-fitting is best), just basic shirt/jumper, pants, undies, socks. And don't forget surgical gloves (don't buy the ones with the chalky residue! We don't want to leave prints) and wash them in alcohol to remove ur prints from the outside of the gloves from when u put them on. And tie ur hear back, or wear a hat. If ur gonna be really thorough, do what Vince does in Gattaga, with the scrubbing with the metal brush to get rid of dead skin and hair.
Now, go in, grab the thing ur gonna burn, and get out of there. Be fast, be efficient, be ruthless. Don't let ur concience attack you. U set out to burn their shit, so do it dammnit! Now leave, talking with you the piece of tape u stuck on the door earlier. Yay, you have some shit to burn!

NOTE: Don't rush it. It takes time and a bit of ingenuity to get enough shit to burn, and don't take more than ONE think from each person u pick. Put some time between grabs, and don't take expensive items, you are gonna burn them remember.

3. Burning the shit.
Now U get all the shit, put it into a pile, and using some form of lighter fluid or petrol, set it alight. Now stand back, enjoy the blaze, the sense of achievement, and make sure that EVERYTHING burns! Don't leave ANY incriminating evidence. Clean up after urself, and leave no telltale signs that u've burn't anything.

Now, I am by no means endorsing this kind of behaviour, but if you wanted to know how to do it, or have the urge to burn other people's shit, this is how I would go about doing it. You don't have to listen to me. In fact, burning other people's shit is bad. Wood. Burn wood. But if you want to know the joys of burning other people's shit... here it is.

Next Time: The things we call fun!

Has anyone seen my shoe?

OK, as I well and truly covered the pizza thingy in the comments on my last post, I figured I'd skip over them here....

I am on the net, doing nothing really. I used to go on like once in a blue moon, now I am on ALL the time! Gah! Oh well, it's just proof I have no life! Well, that's not true... quite.

Why is it easier to talk on emails then face to face? How can u have an intimate conversation with someone when ur r using the medium of SMS's? I have no idea, but it works, sometimes... Of course, there are times when u get a message and r like "R they joking or serious?" but hey, not every system is perfect...

This is a somewhat random post. I don't know what to say... my head is swimming with far too many ideas, and they're all jumbled and want out and I have a headache which doesn't help but hey, I don't really care...
Ummm, how are we all out there?

Ok, that's enough mindless idiocity, or whatever, and so...

Next Time: The art of Burning other people's shit! (I'd like to point out that generally I don't do this, but it does sound controversial, doesn't it?!)

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. -Leo C. Rosten

There is a certain something that calls to us, from the darkness of our own minds... yes, it's "what the hell is MT taking about when he said he'd write about pens?"
The answer to this is simple. I have no inclination to say that I read a letter to me called "Everything I learnt about people I learnt by studying pens". I do not wish to tell you all that they said such things as - "If they don't work, shake them" and "If they persist, you just rip off the top and bottom and replace what's inside". Now, translated to humans, this can get a little disturbing, and so I refused to read on. This, in hindsight, was a bad idea - because now I will never know what to do to a pen/person who askes too many questions...

Today is the last of my days of school classes... Soon I will be embarking on exams, and then - life. Damn!

Next time: I dunno... something about the joy of eating pizza?

Darwinism vs The "Recycle Bin" Icon!

I'm meant to be in English, doing a practice exam. Funny how I'm always meant to be somewhere else when I start writing these things...

My take on God/Faith and human needs:
Q:even if there is a god, why should we worship him/her/it?
A:Because she is just sooo damn sexy!

Just to get really deep and meaningful on you all (apologies for this) but I believe in the need for belief. We all need something to believe in. Some find god. Some find the absence of God (like aksarben's view of god - http://www.400monkeys.com/God/). Others have a belief in science showing us the way. Of course, science is just a faith as well (ask Nietzsche, he knows all about it). Still others believe in the absolute mastery of the ferret, or the squirrel, or that majestic creature, the goat. There is a lot we don't know as a species, and the sooner we find out, the sooner I can go back to bed!

And I know it may seem weird, but yes, my mother is catholic, even though she lived in Northern Ireland, and my dad was Protestant (raised in Ireland propper, but moved), but never really believed in God and so professes Atheism. But in Ireland there is no such thing as an Atheist. You are either a Catholic Atheist (someone who doesn't believe and comes from a Catholic family) or are a Protestant Atheist (same deal as before, just swap 'Catholic' for 'Protestant'). I was baptized a Catholic, first communion as a Protestant and Confirmed as an Anglican. I'm sure that each and every version of their God will hate me for this mess.

My limited understanding of the world has led be to believe that the faith of science will ultimately lead to an almost existential or nhillistic view of the universe, that we have no purpose and no reason for being - our lives are pointless, so it doesn't matter if i commit mass genocide or rape little childeren... morality as we know it would go out the window... so I cheat. I cannot accept this, and so hide in the presumed defunct idea of a God, because that way I have purpose, I have meaning, and I can safely ignore the universe until it goes away. Yes, i view it as the easy way out for me, but if i didn't, then the moral and mental dillema would render me a raving psychopath, or just plain stupid.

So there you have it. God. OH, wait...
Why God is a woman...
1. God did more than one thing for each day she made the world. This is called 'being able to multi-task'. Did you ever hear of a MAN multi-tasking?
2. Look at other civilisations, it is always "gaia", MOTHER earth. if God created nature and then stuck man in it, and women are seen as the godesses of nature in ancient civilisations, then it stands to reason that ours is also a female god, as nature came first.
3. It would just explain a whole heap of things...

So THERE you have it. My extensive take(s) on God. See, told you she's great!

Next time: "Everything I learned about life I learnt from studying pens."

Plushies can be educational!

OK, list. Apologies if I miss some...

1. A lamb - Lambie.
2. A sheep - Sheepie.
3. A sheep (smaller) - Little Sheepie.
4. Large Brown Bear (were talking huge) - Bernardo.
5. Large, but not as large as Bernardo, white bear - Snowy.
6. Small white bear - Snowy's little sister.
7. Dragon - Draco.
8. Pink Bear with rainbow pattern on tummy - Rainbow Bear.
9. Small brown gorrilla - Hugo.
10. Lizard - Smiley.
11. 2 guide dog puppies - Crash and Dean.
12. Millie the mascot - Millie.
13. Nurse bear - Nursey.
14. Wizard bear - Great MT (where I got my name from! named the bear, then stole his name!)
15. 2 small red elephants - chris and chris.
16. Green bear with stars/rainboy on tummy - Mr Carebear.
17. Green fuzzy monster - Gak.
18. Small brown bear - Bernie (Bernardo's younger brother)
19. Bear hand puppet - Fred the Bear.
20. White Gorrilla - Hera (Hugo's sister.)

OK I can't think of anymore than that, but I know I missed some!

Um, today was the Leavers Service for yr12's, which was long and boring, followed by speah day, which I fell asleep in. I now am no longer a student at my school, even though they can still expel me from it if I'm bad (go figure.).

Next time: my belief in God, and why she's such a cool deity!

Interests - And why they are here...

If you want to know about my list of plush toys, skip this one... I am adding in this so that I can list all my interests. I took a while to create this list, and wish to share it with you all. Some things are no longer true. Some are. Some aren't on there, but will be someday...

Here it is:
acceptance, adolescence, aesthetics, apathy, arms, art, asking questions, attention whores, beaches, beauty, being held, biting, bitterness, blushing, books, bright eyes, change, charcoal sketches, clothing, common sense, conspiracy theories, contemplation, critique, cuddling, culture, cursive, curves of the body, cute guys, cynicism, depth, discussions, disdain, emotion, empathy, enlightenment, epiphanies, existence, exploration, exposure, eyes, fashion, fate, fight club, final fantasy, freedom, glam rock, glitter, hips, humor, image, impressionism, independent films, indie rock, innocence, intellect, intensity, interesting people, irony, kissing, knowing, lashes, laughing, learning, light, lips, listening, literature, loud whispers, love, lucid dreaming, materialism, mediocrity, momentos, moon, natural beauty, nostalgia, objective beauty, objectivity, oceans, opiates, optimism, orchids, paintings, patience, perspective, philosophy, photography, pi, piano, pictures, poetry/prose, politics, power, prestige, promises, quantum theology, rain, religions, retro, revenge, rock, romance, romanticism, sarcasm, science fiction, self government, sensitivity, sex, sexual deviance, shean, shyness, silence, sincerety, singing, smiling, snowflakes, spooning, stained glass, stars, stubbornness, style, subjectivity, surreality, swings, taking things for granted, the impending apocalypse, theology, thinking for ourselves, travel, tripping, tshirts, uncertainty, understanding, universal truth, unrequited love, vanilla, vanity, velvet, velvet goldmine, vengeance, video games, vintage, waiting for something nonexistant, watercolor, whisper, world domination, world politics, writing, you..

Stuck in Allen on the Weekend...

I have two hours until work... No-one is online.... I can't walk home 'cause it's raining, and Mum wants me to do too much work! So here I sit in the Allen House computer room, writing stuff about myself, and other things... Now, I did warn people that some stuff about my sexuality may be appearing in the next post, and this is the next post, so here goes.....

Sex: Male.
Situation: G'friend.
Orientation: Bi.

Yes, finally MT has reached the decision that he likes girls AND guys. I have always been able too look at a girl and think "She is cute/hot etc etc" and look at a guy and think "He is cute/hot" and it's rather strange to have sexual fantasies about both guys and girlz, when the people around you are concentrating on either one or the other. Now, a lot of people say that being Bi is just a phase from being straight to being gay, but if it is then it's been a lifelong phase for me!
(See, it does contain Nutz!)

NEway, now everyone in the www knows, or they do if they read this... so don't read it!

Next time: A list of all the plush toys I still own and will never throw out (or give to my kids if I have any!)

Frozen Walruseseseses.....

I cannot think about what needs to be thought about.... so here is a poem i heard....

The Love/Hate relationship:

I loved her.
She hated me.
Bitch.

This was from English (that's the class, not the exam).

I am sitting here and I cannot write what I want, I am in the library, and it is an open place, with nowhere to hide... no shadow no hole! Let that animal out of it's cage.... sorry, I've been doing Edward Bond's Lear for a monologue and so I have the character stuck in my head. I generally get too involved in the character, and then friends and family have to deal with taht character's eccentricities on top of my own! Feel sorry for them!

NEway, I must sign off, and will continue to post, maybe even about my sexual orientation (clue - WARNING: May contain nutz! lol.)

Love you all, especially you. Cheers,
MT.

Lost without you...

You know who you are... That's all I'm saying!
No? You people won't accept a timy post with no substance? Fine! Here is what I wrote during my English Practice Exam:

"In the forensic navigation liturgy, I for Isabel, Northumberland Avenue is a small yellow blot in the middle of the coockie that just tingles when you touch it. I think Martha Stewart is a silly little man and should shave off his beard and get rid of the bowler hat his mouse wears. There are some who would try to argue that a small brown door is not the best age for a string of pearls to be, but when you take into consideration the fact that there are facts about things he's never even smelt, well, the evidence piles up erally.

Nit-picking is bad. I love lucy. Yes, we all know what it's like, but we don't think you should know. In fact, go away... NOW!

15 mins to go... Shall I go insane? Stay tuned and find out!"

Happy now?

Why?

Don't quite know why I've got this. I never did really hold in store with this sort of stuff. Journals and Diaries are places where you can spill your guts out and then people can read it, violate your privacy, and with online journals that can happen even easier. Why write anything personal down? Why do such stupid things? I complain and say it is idiotic, yet here I am, again taking up a journal. Diary entry number one, this is. How bloody minded, as usual... Tune in next time for my putting my heart on the page, metaphorically. This may be in some time, as I probably won't do nything for a while.